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Adam Jones can no longer deliver postgame pies to teammates, and a nation weeps

Just one short month ago, America celebrated that most sacred of holidays known as National Pie Day. It was a simpler time, one full of sweet pastries as far as the eye could see. And, to honor the occasion, we took a moment to celebrate one of baseball's finest traditions: the postgame pies of Adam Jones.  

He pies with conviction:


He pies with panache:


Or should we say, "he pied" -- for on Saturday, Jones was forced to tell the world that his antics would be no more:

Suspiciously, Jones chalked the decision up to "safety," as though blindly flinging baked goods at an unsuspecting teammate might end badly.

His pies taken from him, Jones set out to find a replacement celebration -- although, uh, we're guessing the Orioles won't be happy with these suggestions, either.

His mischievious spirit finally extinguished, Jones hung up his pies for good and accepted his fate. OR DID HE:

We now turn to Buck Showalter for a live reaction: