Allow Amber Sabathia to fill the sitcom mom-shaped hole in your heart
Parenting is one of the most monumental tasks a person can undertake. You have this whole human being, and now you're entirely responsible for their safety, care and growth -- not just keeping them clothed and fed but making sure they're happy, making sure they know right from wrong, making sure they grow up secure in the knowledge that Yoshi is objectively speaking the best Mario Kart character. And there's no backup! There's no shadowy cabal of hyper-responsible adults waiting to swoop in if things get overwhelming; you're it. That sounds hard.
Or, well, it should sound hard, if Amber Sabathia weren't around.
She and her husband, newly-retired pitcher CC, have four kids, and while that may seem like a lot, Amber's one of those moms who just ... seems good at everything. As though there were a full writer's room behind the scenes thinking "Hey, you know what would just be the most wonderfully adorable parent thing to do in this situation?"
Exhibit A: She styled her daughter Cyia's hair using a literal box of Froot Loops:
Amber Sabathia can even turn a box of Froot Loops into a hair accessory pic.twitter.com/S2x101KllI— Chris Landers (@chrisoftheland) November 22, 2019
Exhibit B: Giving your child a full episode of "Cupcake Wars" as a birthday party.
Incredibly coordinated group photos!
Obligatory embarrassing displays of public affection for her teenage son to groan at!
Maybe a little too much!
Amber Sabathia just told her son, Carter, that he was a “World Series baby.” Well then.— Brendan Kuty (@BrendanKutyNJ) February 16, 2019
They are, truly, America's Family, a group so aspirational that you can't help but look on in awe. And yet, somehow, through all of that truly bonkers parenting, she remains the chillest, most subtly devastating woman on Earth.
🗣 Come Get These Kids! https://t.co/zMhIgZpQyt— Amber Sabathia (@AmberSabathia) October 21, 2019
Look, even the greatest moms have their limits.