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Bartolo Colon is glad he's with the Rangers because he doesn't have to hit or run

Bartolo Colon is hoping to pitch his way onto the Rangers for the upcoming season. The wily 44-year-old veteran right-hander inked a Minor League deal with the club in early February, and is currently slinging strikes at Spring Training for Jeff Banister's club. 
Should Colon make the Rangers roster, he will also have a personal milestone in sight. With three wins, he'll tie Juan Marichal for the most all-time wins by a pitcher from the Dominican Republic. With 10, he'll hit 250 for his career. 
And, as he told reporters through a translator on Thursday after allowing an earned run in two innings of work against the Padres, Colon's happy to be with the Rangers -- specifically, in the American League, which "is where he wants to be, because he doesn't have to hit or run." Listen to him explain his reasoning in the clip atop this post. 
Who could possibly forget that magical night in San Diego two years ago, though? You remember, the one that spawned its own limited-edition Topps baseball card and inspired us all on several levels: 

Barring an at-bat in an Interleague game this season, we won't have a chance to see him muscle up like that ... but hey, at least we have the memories.