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Match all the Deadline buyers and sellers with the Cespedes Family BBQ Trade-o-Matic chart

Feeling overwhelmed by the upcoming Trade Deadline? Can't keep the constant torrent of rumors swirling around straight with the seemingly eight dozen names being thrown around? You're in luck: The Cespedes Family BBQ boys have put together a helpful chart which you can see below -- feel free to click to enlarge. (Updated 7/31).
It's simple: Just match up the position that a buying team needs with a seller below. The darker the color, the more glaring the hole or desire to move the player on. 
Using this device, I have come up with five deals that will most definitely, guaranteed, 100 percent happen. (Until they don't.) We will also update this post as the trade winds shift, which is basically an admission that my guarantee is already worthless. 
Brewers acquire Sonny Gray

What's this -- the Brewers move for one of the top starters on the market? They've done it before -- acquiring C.C. Sabathia for the stretch run in 2008 and trading for Zack Greinke before the 2011 season.
Behind Jimmy Nelson's emergence as staff ace -- meaning that he should only be called "Full Nelson" from now on -- the Brewers have shocked the baseball-viewing world and lead by a game in the NL Central. This is the move to make if they want to hold that lead. 
Dodgers acquire Zach Britton

Wait, wait, wait -- I thought Britton was listed as a closer -- and the Dodgers already have one of those in Kenley Jansen? 
Well, yeah, but the Yankees decided to create a Voltron bullpen with Tommy Kahnle, David Robertson, Dellin Betances and Aroldis Chapman. Plus, with the Nationals on the hunt for every reliever -- not content to stop after picking up Ryan Madson and Sean Doolittle -- there is a literal arms race. The Dodgers won't want to win 110 games and come up short in October like the 2001 Mariners and so will bring in the pitcher that Buck Showalter didn't.
Indians acquire Rajai Davis

Reports were that the Indians were the only other serious bidder in the J.D. Martinez trade. After losing out to Arizona, and with a left-handed heavy outfield in Bradley Zimmer, Michael Brantley and the currently injured Lonnie Chisenhall, it would make sense that the team would look for a veteran right-handed bat as they try and lock down the AL Central. 
Given all the good memories of last season -- including that moment -- who doesn't want to see this happen? Maybe this one is wish fulfillment or maybe it will actually happen
Royals acquire Marco Estrada

Kansas City looked out of the race early, stumbling to a 10-20 record at the beginning of May. But the Royals are the Royals. Just as they've done for the past few years, they scratched and clawed into the thick of things.
Just two games out of first place, this isn't the kind of thing poets write sonnets to. Though just a half-season rental, a bowling ball changeup artist like Estrada would probably enjoy the homer-killing environs of Kauffman Stadium and would give the team a decent three-headed beast atop the rotation. 
Disagree strongly with all of these? Think the Yankees should acquire Mike Trout for Clint Frazier and two Class-A prospects? Let us know @Cut4