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A letter to the ducks that keep trying to sneak into Cubs games for free

Dear ducks,
What's your deal? We don't mean that as an admonishment, necessarily, more of a general question because we're generally curious -- what is it about the visitor's dugout at Wrigley Field that you find so appealing?

For the second year in a row, we find you waddling about, this time during the Cubs' 9-2 win over the Reds on Wednesday night. Sure, with a Cubs team as exciting as this year's, what man or beast wouldn't want to catch a game if they had an opportunity? We get that. 
But here's the thing: Ya can't do it like this, ducks. Ya just can't.
It's not that we don't want you watching baseball -- on the contrary. But it's the lackadaisical wandering onto the field that's a problem. See, it wouldn't be fair to all the human fans in attendance if we let you take in the game from such a prime vantage point, free of charge. You're not entitled to the best seats in the house, just because you can fly. It's a matter of fairness, is all we're saying. Plus, fans aren't allowed on the field like that, generally.
So, in sum, we appreciate your enthusiasm. But the next time you feel like taking in a game at the Friendly Confines, please use the ballpark entrances like all of your fellow fans. You can totally fly away at the end of the game to beat the traffic, though.