The nightmare is over and the facts are in: Hank the Ballpark Pup is alive and well
At first the Brewers joked about the conspiracy, comparing Hank the Ballpark Pup to Santa and the Tooth Fairy.
Believe. pic.twitter.com/cWRjaXUTdu— Milwaukee Brewers (@Brewers) March 2, 2016
On Friday, they got serious -- while still joking about it at one of the most wonderfully enjoyable and absurd press conferences that you will ever see.
The move became necessary in the days following Brew Crew Ball positing that the current Hank the Ballpark Pup could have been an imposter, that his ears were too white, his face too puffy. The baseball Internet world latched onto the idea, because, after all, identity issues may not be new (even the president had to release his birth certificate in recent years), but identity issues around a dog are a little different. And when it's the beloved Ballpark Pup, a stray dog that wandered into Spring Training and then into our hearts, it would have been crushing.
Fortunately, there was only good news as COO Rick Schlesinger addressed the speculation and, using microchip and dental record evidence, proved that it was the one and only original Hank. That's right -- the situation reached a point where dental records were studied. If that doesn't thrill your very senses, then nothing will.
While the day had plenty of laughter, as the Brewers faked out the crowd by bringing out a clearly fake and much larger "Hank," there was serious evidence presented, including a notarized letter from the original vet that examined the pup when he was first adopted.
And while conspiracy theorists can never be sated, the rest of us can be assured that when we cheer for that cute little dog running around the field in a costume, it's the bonafide, original, unstoppable Hank the Ballpark Pup.