Given his World Series performance, it's time to consider that Kyle Schwarber might not be human
Baseball is hard. It's really, really hard … for humans. Which is why we need to have a little chat about
You remember the headlines just over six months ago, right? "Schwarber has torn ACL, LCL; out for year,"Cubs' Kyle Schwarber out for season after tearing knee ligaments," "Cubs slugger Kyle Schwarber out for season with knee injury"
Schwarber himself even said: "I look at it as, I have a whole year to prepare for a new season."
At the risk of getting overly technical, season-ending injuries, by definition, end a player's season. And, yet, if you've watched a second of World Series coverage, you are well aware that Kyle Schwarber is back and playing for the Cubs.
Which brings us to: Schwarber Superhuman Achievement #1 -- Returning from a season-ending injury before the end of the season.
But wait, there's more! As I said up top, baseball is hard. Players go through weeks of Spring Training just to get their muscle memory and timing back to Major-League ready. They don't show up on Day 1 ready to, I don't know, bat fifth in a World Series game, for example.
The injury which sidelined Schwarber in April occurred during his second game of the season. Consequently, he had just five Major League plate appearances during the regular season -- all of which occurred more than six months ago. Last weekend he played in his first game since the injury and went 0-for-3 in an Arizona Fall League outing -- a league populated by Minor League prospects.
Schwarber played in one more game on Monday and that was it! After more than six months without playing in a game, he didn't have a Spring Training to ramp back up to Major League form. Instead, he played in two prospect league games and then was slotted into the starting lineup as the Cubs' designated hitter for Game 1 of the World Series on Tuesday night. His return was a great story, but there's no way he could actually perform well, right?
Maybe that was just a lucky swing?
Then again, maybe not.
In Game 1, Schwarber went 1-for-3 with a walk and a double and in Game 2, he went 2-for-4 with a walk and two RBIs. Schwarber Superhuman Achievement #2 -- Succeeding at the plate in a World Series game after virtually no in-game experience for more than six months.
One superhuman achievement might be a beautiful aligning of the stars, but TWO superhuman achievements?! It's time for us to face the obvious truth:
Kyle Schwarber is a robot.
Schwarber is doing things that mere mortals are incapable of achieving. So really, what other explanation could there possibly be? OK, maaaaybe he's just an extraordinarily hard worker who spent his rehab putting in the effort necessary to push the limits of what is possible. But consider that he looks exactly the same as he did in high school and the robot theory is pretty convincing, too.
Schwarber's offense helped the Cubs win Game 2, 5-1, to even up the Series at one game apiece. Tune in to find out which team pulls ahead in Game 3 on Friday, 7:30 p.m. ET air time | 8 ET game time on FOX.