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Joe Kelly offered a glimpse into an alternate reality where he is an umpire, not a pitcher

Baseball has a lengthy list of "what if" stories. What if Babe Ruth had remained a pitcher? What if the Yankees had swapped Joe DiMaggio for Ted Williams? What if the Rangers had traded Alex Rodriguez to the Red Sox? What if Joe Kelly was an umpire?

Okay, maybe that last hypothetical wasn't one of the sport's great mysteries, but Kelly answered it anyway at Red Sox Spring Training. A self-described "quiet guy," he said his regular strike call would be low-key:

Same goes for his call of a ball:

Strike three, however? Let's get crazy:

Perfect. Enrico Pallazzo would love it.