Minor League Road Trip, Day 5: Mustaches, J.P. Crawford and a human cannonball!

I (Jake) am a bad baseball player. Well, relative to the population of the world, playing on even a D-III college team makes me incredible; easily 99th percentile. But compared to a pool of all professional and college players, I'm not very good. An 11.94 ERA is an 11.94 ERA. 
My college baseball career has been all about providing value off the field in other ways. Sometimes that means scouting other teams, sometimes that means catching bullpens, and sometimes that means growing out a weird black mustache because I think it entertains people and keeps the team loose (my teammates might disagree).
Yesterday, I found out that Phillies catching prospect and fellow mustache aficionado Andrew Knapp has a similar strategy. The only difference is that Knapp actually looks pretty good with a mustache... oh, and he's a good baseball player. Check out the clip in the main video slot above.
Let that facial hair grow, people. As Knapp's Twitter bio proclaims, a "mustache should not be defined by a month".
While Knapp spends his time off the diamond ensuring his whiskers are properly trimmed, his teammate, outfielder Cam Perkins, has other interests. Last offseason, Perkins took up a job as a barista. We asked him about that slow-drip lifestyle:

Oh, and we talked to the best position player prospect in baseball too. He loves Game of Thrones and starred as a pitcher in high school. Hey there, J.P. Crawford.

We Saw A Baseball Game - Columbus Clippers at Lehigh Valley IronPigs
I mean, we kind of did. There are so many bacon-related products hanging around the Ironpigs concourse that we got a little distracted. But a few AAA things happened: Ross Detwiler gave up a huge dinger to Darin Ruf. Michael Choice launched a home run off Ben Lively. Abraham Almonte notched two hits and two walks. You know, the uje... the yooge... the yudge? Ujj? How would you go about spelling the shortened version of 'as per usual'? We have no idea.
While there was quite a bit of talent on the field, yours truly was making some serious waves up on the concourse. With a crow hop and a dream, I touched 86 on the definitely-accurate radar gun. Someone sign me up. I guess I'm not that bad of a baseball player after all...

Prospect at this minor league game up to 86, showing clean, repeatable mechanics. Oh wait thats just me throwing 🔥🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/Pjvdm3qwdp

— Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) June 28, 2016

Of course, as much as we love the displays of baseball talent on the field, the Minors is also where you'll see some of the craziest in-game entertainment around. Whether it's a creative first pitch or a race between different types of meat during the seventh-inning stretch, you never know what you'll see over the course of an MiLB evening. But no one could have prepared us for what we were treated to after last night's game in Lehigh Valley: a human cannonball. 

so, uh, this happened after tonight's game in Lehigh Valley (!?!?!?!?!) pic.twitter.com/SUjShmycxR

— Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) June 28, 2016

Where We Woke Up: Westchester, N.Y.
Where We Slept: Hagerstown, Md.
Miles Driven: 288
Miles Driven To-Date: 1,449
Time in Car: 4:41
Time in Car To-Date: 25:31

Tomorrow's Plan: Wake up. Eat some breakfast. Drive to Salem, Va., home of the Red Sox High-A affiliate. Batflip with some professional baseballistas, eat again, watch some baseball, eat again, write about it all, drive a bunch, sleep, rinse, repeat.