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Update: It's a brand new season, and Edinson Volquez still feels pretty sexy

In Game 1 of last year's ALCS, facing down the best offense in baseball, Edinson Volquez pitched the game of his life: six innings, two hits, zero runs, one big win over the Jays. What inspired his success in such a pressure-packed environment? The support of his teammates? The home crowd? Please: It was because he felt sexy.

More than four months later, Volquez was back on the mound for the Royals' Spring Training game/bee-filled nightmare against the Rockies. A lot had changed. The nation wondered: Where did Volquez stand, relative to his pitching and/or sexiness? After he tossed three scoreless innings, we have our answer:
I feel sexy right now. You know what happens when I feel sexy, right?
Apparently, this: