What if all Hot Stove wheeling and dealing took place entirely in secret?

Dexter Fowler's surprise arrival at Cubs camp notwithstanding, today's age of social media means that very few offseason moves are kept secret. Fans and players alike spend their winters frantically refreshing Twitter to see which big names might be incoming for their teams. So while it'll take some time to get used to Zack Greinke in Sedona red and Johnny Cueto in orange, it was hardly a surprise when they showed up at D-backs and Giants camp, respectively.
But what if it was? What if all offseason proceedings were completely secret until players reported to Spring Training? Let's delve into the nearly incomprehensible universe of ... The Secret Hot Stove:
If all players involved in offseason moves were sworn to secrecy regarding their new baseballing homes, reporting days would become 100 times as exciting as they already are. Picture media members and fans alike swarming Spring Training parking lots eager to see which players would arrive at their team's camp. Players who haven't changed teams anxiously wait in the clubhouse to see which new teammates will join them for the 2016 season. For example …
We saw how the Cubs reacted to Fowler's unexpected return. Now imagine if they had no idea Jason Heyward would roll into camp to bolster their lineup even more? Perhaps even more exciting: that Heyward wouldn't be returning to the Cardinals. "Well, St. Louis will still be tough", Cubs fans and players would surely lament. "They probably still have John Lackey, who dominated us last year...wait, what? Lackey's on our side now too?!" And here comes utility-Superman Ben Zobrist, fresh off his World Series with Kansas City. As if their young core of Kris Bryant & Co. wasn't enough to get fans excited, the Cubs' Hot Stove reveal would be absolute madness.   

Never really known for making big splashes in free agency, the Diamondbacks were expected to make marginal improvements around Paul Goldschmidt and A.J. Pollock. Never in a thousand years would any Arizona faithful expect to see perennial Cy Young candidate Zack Greinke arrive at Salt River Fields in D-Backs' colors. Greinke, who has befuddled Arizona hitters for the last three seasons as a member of the rival Dodgers -- 7-0, 1.19 ERA in 60 1/3 IP -- would now be pitching for them. And who's that behind him? 25-year-old All-Star Shelby Miller??? A rotation that's proved to be a weakness for the past few years is now suddenly one of Arizona's biggest strengths, and D-Backs fans are elated. The Secret Hot Stove does it again.  

Sox fans would be thrilled to put their disappointing 2015 behind them and enter the Secret Hot Stove season with high hopes that new President of Baseball Operations Dave Dombrowski would make good on his reputation for big moves. As one of the few fan bases that have grown to expect a big free agent splash, Bostonians would flock to Spring Training anticipating which top names would arrive in Red Sox colors. Those frustrated with the 2015 bullpen would be overjoyed to see breakout star Carson Smith arrive in Fort Myers … and then floored by the addition of all-world closer Craig Kimbrel. But the reaction sparked by even those arrivals would pale in comparison to the shock and awe that would sweep across Red Sox camp upon David Price's arrival. The same guy who the Sox have watched dominate for two different division rivals would now top their own rotation, one in desperate need of an ace.

Knowing their team is in the midst of a rebuilding process, Atlanta fans would likely head straight to Minor League camp desperate for a glimpse of their future stars. A familiar face emerges ... no, it couldn't be. The Braves didn't have the No. 1 overall pick in 2015 ... and yet ... there's Dansby Swanson in an Atlanta uniform. Fans are so overjoyed to see the shortstop in their team's colors that they petition to rename the neighboring resort "Dansby World."

Cage 🎥 featuring @LieutenantDans7. #BravesST pic.twitter.com/2ksTbCPqQB

— Atlanta Braves (@Braves) February 27, 2016

Mets fans were nearly certain that the main protagonist of their second half fairytale would not be back in Queens for 2016. Surely he would parlay his tremendous run into a mega-deal out of the Mets' price range and more tragically, out of their hearts. It was fun while it lasted, but it's time to move on. There's still plenty to be excited about, with all the young pitching returning -- and look, Bartolo is back! But boy, they're really gonna miss that big bat in the middle of the lineu---WHAT IS THAT SOUND???

Yo back. 
Jordan Shusterman is a co-founder of Cespedes Family BBQ. You can follow them on Twitter at @CespedesBBQ.