Enjoy these 11 retro team commercials you thought you'd never see again
As "Mad Men" taught us, commercials are the most important art form of the past 30 years. Sadly, the show stopped in the '70s, refusing to let us see them construct a bizarre '90s ad for Don Draper's beloved Mets.
Where showrunner Matthew Weiner gave up, we aim to fill the void. Today, like your mom's favorite radio station, we look at 11 commercials from the '80s, '90s and today that have been lodged in your subconscious for decades.
The Padres are a used car sale
This is like something you'd expect to see at 4 a.m. on Adult Swim. Sure, it's got all the tenets of a cheesy used car ad, but there's something awfully strange about it. Why is the famous car salesman Cal Worthington riding the San Diego Chicken? And why must the players suffer in the hot sun in a parking lot? And why is the chicken barking at the end?!
Ludacris sings "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
Getting famed hip hop singer, "Fast and the Furious" star and Atlanta resident Ludacris to record a commercial is a great idea. Only problem? There appeared to be little thought beyond "Get Ludacris." Over a Casio beat, Ludacris is apparently given a single take to nail his version of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game," that is mostly just repeating the original lyrics.
The Blue Jays shower
File this under, "Huh, I can't believe this was ever made."
The Expos are the smoothest jazz
If you were born in the last decade, I'm sorry, but not only did you miss great uniforms, an amazing logo and Youppi, but you also missed a team that was scored only by the smoothest of jazz. Farewell, le baseball.
Waiting for the Rockies
Ever wonder what people in Denver did before the Rockies came to town? Apparently they stood around in empty lots pining for a baseball stadium.
Fortunately, the baseball gods were listening. In just a few short years, Coors Field was built and this majestic ad could be made:
Jeff Suppan recycles
Jeff Suppan was a fantastic junkballer in his career, tossing 2,500 innings of league average baseball. It made him the perfect person to show people how to properly dispose of their junk.
Unfortunately, they never said the line, "Hey! Soup's on, Suppan! Now what should we do with this can?" Is it too late for a reshoot?
The Mets know there's a little bit of winner in everyone
Did you think that "Get Metsmerized" was the height of Mets-related cheesy music? Oh, how you'd be wrong. Enter this glorious number, with kids and adults transforming into Mets players as the permanently chilled out singer lets us know that there's a "Little bit of winner in everyone."
Mark Mulder's rosin bag
I guess A's fans really love the rosin bag.
Harry Caray's musical number
Few broadcasters get a commercial of their very own. And I would imagine none other than Harry Caray gets a full musical number, complete with a dream sequence-esque dancing bottle of beer and hot dog.
Aretha Franklin shows off her 80 grade pipes
A common theme of vintage ads is team theme songs. Most did not have anyone with the talent of Aretha Franklin. Not only did she show off her pipes, but she also got to hang out with Cecil Fielder. Eat it up AdWeek, because this is the greatest commercial ever made.