Chris Archer has officially notified Orbit that their prank war will continue in perpetuity
Over the past few years,
But even by these lofty standards, the Archer-Orbit feud has run particularly deep. Maybe it has something to do with the time he likened the Rays ace to Jaden Smith. We just can't say for sure.
What we do know, though, is that the two are most definitely not friends -- and with the Rays in Houston to take on the Astros on Monday, Archer decided to make it official:
Yes, Archer handed Orbit a Declaration of Unfriendliness before the game. It reads in full:
A STATE OF DISCORD has existed between Chris Archer of the Tampa Bay Rays and Orbit of the Houston Astros.
Whereas GENERAL MISCHIEF and RASCALITY have been among ORBIT'S repeated trespasses, CHRIS ARCHER is hereby resolved to carry on a campaign of PRANKS, GAGS AND HIGH JINKS (sic) in retaliation which include, but are not limited to, use of objects such as:
Small motorized vehicles
And any of the considerable resources of a MAJOR LEAGUE clubhouse.
Orbit's response? He's laying low for the time being:
The Rays, meanwhile, made clear that they would stand by their pitcher:
On the one hand, we'd sure like to see these two get along. On the other: Get the popcorn ready.