You must really love yourself to have a tattoo of yourself on your body
At first glance, getting a tattoo of yourself on your body sounds absurd, like some kind of decision made by the actual Narcissus himself so that he could tear his gaze away from the reflecting pool.
But then Mets starting pitcher Marcus Stroman showed off his body art and I realized that you can tattoo yourself on yourself without being a true sociopath.
Marathon tattoo sessions turn into lifelong friendships. My dawg the best tattoo artist in the game! 💉 pic.twitter.com/is7RgxTaNa— Marcus Stroman (@MStrooo6) October 25, 2019
Hidden among the self-help platitudes ("Believe in Yourself" is written across his collarbone) and the hyper-realistic pop culture tattoos (among them, Cillian Murphy from "Peaky Blinders" and Denzel Washington from "Training Day,"), you'll find Stroman himself, right above the kidney:
That's right, Marcus Stroman has a tattoo honoring two of his biggest sporting accomplishments: winning the Gold Glove Award for his defensive prowess, and hitting a home run.
Now, I can't really relate to this. At all. Not only do I lack the physical ability to pull off either things, or even my own life equivalent (is there an award for "Best Blogging Boy"?), but this kind of self-esteem is unfathomable. At what point do you do something so great, so wonderful that you know it's ready to be tattooed? When do you even like yourself enough that you want more of yourself on you?
But if you do something so shocking and unbelievable -- like hitting a home run when you're a pitcher, what choice do you have but to get a tattoo? And this is a cool tattoo, too -- with Stroman in mid-swing, almost being held by his Gold Glove. Now if I ever go a full week without spilling coffee on my shirt, I guess I should get a tattoo of myself drinking coffee without a single drop spilling over the lid.
I have one more question, though, and it's one I would like Stroman to answer. If he's at the beach, or out for a run without a shirt on, and someone sees his back, how exactly does he answer when they ask, "Hey, umm, do you have a tattoo of yourself on your body?" Because while I can at least fathom the kind of self-positive thoughts necessary to get a tattoo of yourself, I have no idea how you could manage to say that to another person.
Michael Clair writes for MLB.com. He spends a lot of time thinking about walk-up music and believes stirrup socks are an integral part of every formal outfit.