Miguel Montero's walk-off home run trot was the slowest of the season

It's hard work to hit a home run in the big leagues. So, when you finally do, it's expected that you pause to admire your handiwork and trot around the bases. If that home run happens to be a walk-off blast on the day your team celebrated winning its division, though, you officially have permission to take all the time you need -- just ask Miguel Montero.
Montero clubbed a solo shot that gave the Cubs a 5-4 win over the Brewers just hours after the team learned it had won the NL Central, and he decided to get his money's worth on the way home. His home run trot wasn't just luxurious, it was the very slowest in MLB this season at 33.55 seconds -- we're guessing his route into home plate had something to do with it:

Now, we should pause to clarify: Montero's was the slowest true, uninterrupted trot. Paul Goldschmidt (47.55 seconds) and Chris Carter (40.75 seconds) recorded longer routes in 2016, but both players also stopped to check if the ball had actually left the yard or not. Given that this violates Rule 3(b) of the Official Rulebook of Home Run Trotting -- an absolutely real thing that we definitely didn't make up -- the title goes to the Cubs catcher.
As for the man Montero bumped from the top spot? None other than the Slow Trot King himself, David Ortiz, who followed a home run in April with a 32.41-second saunter around the bases:

You can't have everything in your awesome final season, Papi.