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If you understand this postgame interview, you've expanded your mind far beyond mine

What is time? What is the future and what is the past? What is reality, man?

If you thought these were the kinds of questions asked during your philosophy 101 class (or in your dorm room later that night after class), well, you'd be right. But they are also the kind of questions asked by Cubs outfielder Nicholas Castellanos during his postgame interviews.

Now, most locker room chats consist solely of platitudes like "we played hard" and "we have to take it one game at a time." Castellanos, on the other hand, has a unique way of looking at things ... by, basically, looking at the inside of his brain.

This ... this is the galaxy brain in action. This is the suburban New Age crystal enthusiast on a Major League Baseball team. This ... maybe makes some sense? Let me try to break it down.

So, yes, everything that has ever happened is a memory, and that means it's in the past. And also, the human memory is incredibly fallible, so you can't really trust it. So, we must forever be in the present. Because the present is the future. But then there's no future. And if we're always in the present, then there was no Opening Day before.

Wait, I think I just got more confused and my brain hurts. Maybe the man in the "Artist" jersey should have just said "time is a flat circle" and left it at that.

While I struggle to really make sense of Castellanos' vision of the world, I do appreciate that he's willing to offer it up in a postgame interview. While he may have been deadpan joking, maybe he wasn't. Maybe this really is his way of looking at things. Baseball is a sport of sport of failure and responding to it, after all, -- you can't blame him for viewing every day at the park as Opening Day.

All hail Nicholas Castellanos, and I look forward to your future philosophizing sessions. It's very Socratic.