David Ortiz spent his Saturday night hanging out with some Oompa Loompas
What does one of the game's greatest DH's do in his first offseason as a retired player? Well, if David Ortiz is any guide, first you cut a commercial and then ... hang out with some oompa loompas?
Big brother & sister event😀 pic.twitter.com/ut2lM04WUk— David Ortiz (@davidortiz) February 5, 2017
Granted, Ortiz was with them for a charity event, but we still have to assume that the green-haired chocolate makers tried to recruit the slugger.
If successful, we imagine their new verse would go a little something like this:
Oompa loompa doompety doo
We have a new member of the crew
Oompa loompa doompety dee
And he goes by the name Big Papi
What do you get when you hang a fat curve?
Deserving of whatever Ortiz will serve
Watch the ball fly and kiss it good-bye
Your ERA will immediately rise
We really like the look of that.
Someone call the Roald Dahl estate. We need to get this sequel greenlit ASAP.