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Ramon Laureano's right arm has become must-see TV

Hey, you there. Yes, you, with the SpaghettiOs. Do you like home runs?

Of course you do. You're only human, after all. Which is why we're coming to you with a very special proposition: What if we told you that, somewhere in the Majors right now, there existed a magical machine, one capable of producing everything you love about dingers at a moment's notice -- outrageous, gravity-defying feats of strength; the sight of a baseball flying hundreds of feet in the air; each pitch fraught with tension, anticipation, the knowledge that, at any moment, everything you thought you knew about physics might be turned on its head?

Say hello to A's outfielder Ramon Laureano -- and he doesn't even need a bat:

You may remember Laureano from the play above from last year, in which he threw a ball from the warning track in left-center at Angel Stadium all the way to first base -- a full football field -- on the fly.

It's a new season, but don't worry, Laureano is still patrolling center field for the A's. And his arm is still a human highlight reel, capable of turning even the most innocuous moments into something you'll be shaking your head at for the rest of your life. A single up the middle? That's just an excuse to break some land speed records:

That throw got Xander Bogaerts at home plate during Oakland's home opener on Monday. The very next night, the two met again, this time in the ninth inning of a 1-0 game. After driving a ball off the wall in right-center, Bogaerts was sure he had himself a clutch triple. Ah, how naive he was:

You wouldn't take a bathroom break during an Aaron Judge at-bat; what if you miss him planting a ball into the East River? Well, Laureano's the same way ... except, well, he's managed to turn every at-bat into appointment viewing. How could you get up to grab a snack when you know that any ball in play has a chance to turn into this?