Bo Bichette has stepped right off the beach in 'Top Gun' and into North America's heart
You know the guy. Kurt Russell, his shirt perfectly frayed, kicking back and telling you "it's all in the reflexes." Val Kilmer, snapping his gum at Tom Cruise in "Top Gun."
He's always the slightest bit dirty, but glamorously so, and you're never quite sure why. He's got a heart of gold, but of course he'd rather die than let you see it. He hustled someone in pool for the first time at the age of seven, and the person he hustled probably wound up apologizing. He's one of exactly seven people on planet earth who can pull off the white sleeveless undershirt.
He is America's dirtbag crush, and he's always been our weakness: the dive bar energy, the hair that somehow always seems to fall perfectly, the undeniable swagger. He's enjoyed something of a renaissance recently -- exhibit A: Justin Bieber's whole aesthetic now -- and the summer of 2019 has given us maybe the best version yet. Only he doesn't live in our imaginations. He's very, very real: His name is Bo Bichette, he just turned 21 years old, and he's not just here to look great on a motorcycle -- he's here to wreak havoc on any pitcher who gets in his way.
We could focus on the fact that Bichette, who made his debut for the Blue Jays back on July 29, is currently hitting .408 (!) over his first 11 Major League games. We could focus on the fact that he's the first player in the history of the sport to double in nine straight games. We could focus on the fact that the clip above features him turning on a 94-mph fastball and parking it 440 feet from home plate. But I want to talk about the bat flip:
𝐁o— MLB (@MLB) August 9, 2019
𝐃ays ending in
I mean, come on. It's not too demonstrative, and it doesn't have to be -- you know, and he knows, and he knows that you know. That flip just fixed the jukebox by glancing in its direction.
Which is Bichette's essence: a son of a former MLB All-Star turned second-round Draft pick turned top prospect, he's been prepared for this seemingly since he could walk, and he knows just what to do with it. Everything about him screams "summer fling you'll write a wild memoir about in 30 years." He's got the hair:
(His secret? Horse shampoo, naturally.)
He casually posts photo essays of himself doing jaw-dropping stuff, then shrugs and looks away and captions it "Dimé" (Spanish for "tell me").
He's the kind of guy who inspires Instagram comments like this:
At this point, we're maybe three weeks away from people on the Internet asking Bichette to hurl them from the CN Tower.
Which brings us to the best part about him: Unlike John Bender, Bichette doesn't fade to black. He's there, in our ballparks and on our televisions, for six months a year, smiling that smile and pulverizing baseballs. Unlike your actual summer crushes, Bichette will never let you down.
Bo Bichette has played in 11 MLB games.— Cut4 (@Cut4) August 9, 2019
Bo Bichette has hit 8 doubles.
Bo Bichette just hit his 4th home run.
Bo Bichette is good at baseball. pic.twitter.com/hUMc9BajqY