A dinosaur tried to throw the first pitch at a Rangers game, but it did not go well
Sunday was Dino Day for the Rangers at Globe Life Park, so they decided to have one of the star attractions, a dinosaur named Roxy from the Perot Museum of Nature and Science, "throw" the ceremonial first pitch before their game against the Cubs. The task is easier said than done though. It's hard to make a pitch when you have tiny arms. Other dinosaurs have pulled it off before by using their mouths, so Roxy felt like she had a shot!
Instead, we were treated to one of the most dismal first pitches in MLB history.
Just a bit outside. pic.twitter.com/SxORCCH4fA— MLB (@MLB) March 31, 2019
Actually, that probably doesn't even qualify as a pitch. That's closer to a ceremonial puck drop.
Let's just call it that in order to avoid hurting Roxy's feelings. If "Jurassic Park" and "Jurassic World" have taught us anything, it's a bad idea to taunt dinosaurs.
So, very good attempt, Roxy! You're wonderful! Actual pitches are overrated anyway.
Andrew Mearns is a writer for Cut4 whose baseball obsession was born from the shattered dreams of Mike Mussina's perfect game attempt in 2001. He has a startling memory of World Series highlights that barely functions as a party trick.