This hot dog and mustard ice cream monstrosity needs to return to whatever hell it came from
Hot dogs covered in mustard? Perfect summer snack.
Ice cream? Yes, nothing better.
But together? As in, one thing? Dear lord, absolutely not. That's a nightmare. That's the surest sign of a chef playing god.
Well, meet our new dark lord, Oscar Meyer, because he (it) has done it. He's opened the world to something truly awful and there can be no closing this Pandora's box. This is hell on earth:
Who eats just mustard @Frenchs? Condiments were made for Oscar Mayer hot dogs. Say hello to the Oscar Mayer Ice Dog Sandwich - 🌭 flavored ice cream, made with our better hot dogs, sandwiched with spicy mustard 🍦. Do you want to try this? Coming in August🔥 #OscarMayerIceCream— Oscar Mayer (@oscarmayer) August 1, 2019
Yeah, for those keeping score, that's candied hot dog bits, hot dog sweet cream, spicy dijon gelato, and a cookie bun.
Now, sure, there are plenty of insane foods out there -- many that can be found at your local ballpark -- and the age of bacon in desserts has already become passe. But candied hot dogs? Hot dogs are already a mad scientist's creation, a product it's best to not ask too many questions about. Now candying them and putting them in _ice cream_? Yeah, that's going to be a no from me, hot dog.
If you want to try this nightmare creation and you're in New York City, you're in luck. However, if too many people get swept up in the ironic enjoyment, they just might put this thing into grocery stores, and we wouldn't want that, right?
Do you hear that song?! 🔊🔊 That’s the sweet and delicious sound of Oscar Mayer Ice Dog Sandwich. Keep an 👁️and 👂out for the @Wienermobile in NYC the week of 8/12 to get your taste buds in on this. #OscarMayerIceCream pic.twitter.com/6NhpVSUl6T— Oscar Mayer (@oscarmayer) August 1, 2019
There is one hot dog with ice cream that I'm here for, and that's this one:
Michael Clair writes for MLB.com. He spends a lot of time thinking about walk-up music and believes stirrup socks are an integral part of every formal outfit.