Robin Lopez's neverending mascot crusade has set its sights on Oakland's Stomper
Robin Lopez's business card may read "NBA player," but that's simply a front for his true calling: terrorizing mascots across the country. Sure, you may think they're nothing but furry fun, but one man's harmless prank is another man's menace to society -- a menace that Lopez is determined to stomp out. From Detroit ...
... to Washington, D.C. ...
... to Toronto.
That is the face of a cold-blooded mascot killer. So you'd think that, the mascot community being as tight-knit as it is, word would've spread by now: Cross Sideshow Rob at your own peril.
And yet, with Lopez back in his native Bay Area to take in an A's game on Wednesday, Oakland mascot and resident troublemaker Stomper just couldn't help himself. It began with a crack at Lopez's signature curly hair:
Dear Oakland @Athletics,— Robin Lopez (@rolopez42) July 17, 2019
I'm not thrilled with the consolation prize @Stomper00 gifted me. I don't want to be ungrateful here, but...am I reading too deep into this voucher?? I'm pretty fond of my curls.
Confused and Hairy in Fresno pic.twitter.com/COeRryJl50
And culminated in a Mission Impossible-esque effort to swap Lopez's Mariners hat for something a bit more Kelly Green:
Stomper may have won the battle, but rest assured, the war is far from over:
These mascots walk amongst us, with our friends, with our families. When will enough be enough? When will one bad prank cross the line? When will we stand up, say "We've had enough" with these cowards? https://t.co/WipDJep1ok— Robin Lopez (@rolopez42) July 17, 2019