Area professional athlete will not rest until he's defeated his town's turkey menace
It feels like a story straight from "Parks and Recreation." Fed up with the imposing gangs of turkeys roaming his suburban homestead, this area man has taken to using every resource available to complain about the gobble-gobble-gobble menace.
But instead of our intrepid hero being a Pawnee resident, it's Todd Frazier: Professional baseball player and, now, noted hater of wild turkeys.
The pride of Toms River, N.J. -- the town where he played Little League growing up and still resides -- Frazier took to Twitter to complain about the growing scourge taking over the town.
I have seen the reports about wild turkeys 🦃 in Toms River. They are a big problem here I. Toms River and the Toms River wildlife say they can’t move them. That’s ridiculous. They have come close to harming my family and friends, ruined my cars, trashed my yard and much more...— Todd Frazier (@FlavaFraz21) November 9, 2019
He shared visual evidence of these dastardly birds attacking his car, swarming over it like a kind of lazy gathering from "The Birds." Listen closely and you can almost hear them warbling, "C'mon Todd. Don't you want to come out and play?"
Frazier has retweeted about a half-dozen people from the area who are also fed up with the fowl, becoming the de facto leader of this anti-turkey brigade. He's tweeted to the governor of New Jersey to step forward, and befitting any local crusader, he's also on the local news.
Just check out that sick lower third "MLB Third Baseman" that appeared on local News 12:
Rather than spending his winter in Italy like Bryce Harper, or bouncing around the dozens of weddings that players squeeze into the offseason, he's devoted to getting these turkeys out of Toms River and back to where they belong -- so he showed up on CBS 2 News, too.
As Frazier said, "When you see the claws on these things, it's no joke." It's culminated in the birds going out to -- and I quote -- "Terrorize a 55-and-up community." These turkeys are known to attack young children and can run up to 20 miles per hour. It's basically "Thankskilling" out there. So, while all of this may appear amusing, it actually is an issue.
Perhaps we should also applaud Frazier for taking an active role in his community, as he's using his platform and fame to help bring more attention to an issue that really does seem to be impacting people's everyday lives. And, perhaps, we should look forward to the day when, fed up with the lack of action, the Toddfather wanders the streets of Toms River with his trusty baseball bat, exacting bird justice wherever he goes.
Michael Clair writes about baseball for Cut4. He believes stirrup socks are an integral part of every formal outfit and Adam Dunn's pitching performance was baseball's greatest moment.