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I have no idea how Vlad Guerrero Jr. hit this pitch for a home run and neither will you

Good afternoon/evening, everyone. We need to talk.

For today's class, we're going to discuss the unexplainable. The impossible, and, yet, the real. The actual. You may not fully grasp what your eyes are showing you, but I can assure you that it's a real thing that happened, and we need to discuss it.

Below, observe a close-up of Vladimir Guerrero Jr. hitting a home run in Friday's Mariners-Blue Jays game from Rogers Centre.

Now, I know what you're thinking. What? How? That swing was ... huh? Same, kids. Same.

This isn't CGI. It's not camera trickery or reflections of weather balloons. It's a real, actual home run struck by a real, actual human being -- er, well, it's Vlad Guerrero Jr., who might be a real, actual human being, if he's not actually a programmed hit robot, whose perfectly tuned talents in the batter's box are without limits.

I mean, that might truly be the case. He hit a pitch that catcher Omar Narváez was prepared to catch off the ground, a low-and-inside offering from lefty Wade LeBlanc that might have bounded to the backstop. Instead, it was crushed to left field for the latest home run from the unbelievable Guerrero, who is somehow still just 20 years old.

And a Blue Jays fan caught it in his cap and chugged a beer in celebration. A perfect sequence.

He's done things like this before, after all. That's a skill you inherit as the son of a Hall of Famer known for his ability to hit any pitch that was thrown anywhere in the general direction of the plate. How else do you explain stuff like this?

Unless he's a robot. A baseball-destroying robot, assembled and sent to the Blue Jays to see what kind of havoc he can cause on the diamond.

That's gotta be it.

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taylor trammell
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