Seriously, what the hell is wrong with calling San Francisco "San Fran"?
Former San Francisco Giants reliever Will Smith -- a man who was an All-Star in 2019 and one of the best at his position in baseball -- signed a three-year deal on Thursday to play for the Braves. On Friday, he sent out a message to San Francisco -- thanking the city for the three years he spent there and helping him get back on track after serious injury.
Except, well, he did it. He committed the ultimate sin.
From Will Smith, via text: "My time in San Fran is something I’ll take with me forever. From the training staff working hard with me to come back from TJ is something I will forever be grateful for, the coaches for always trying to make us better and to my teammates... (1/3)— Henry Schulman (@hankschulman) November 15, 2019
You'd think it was as if he said Tony Bennett is trash. Or that the Golden Gate Bridge is just a glorified erector set. Or that the burritos are overrated.
But no -- it was much, much worse.
He called San Francisco “San Fran.”
Don’t call it San Fran— Riggs Douglas (@DougRiggs) November 15, 2019
The reference to San Fran nullifies the sentiment.— Charles Farnsworth (@Farnsworth67) November 15, 2019
He said, “San Fran” bye 👋— Daniel Burge (@Dr_Burge1979) November 15, 2019
I don't get it. I've never gotten it. What's wrong with saying San Fran? We shorten everything in life. It makes things easier.
Imagine if you had to say "Laugh Out Loud" instead of "LOL." It'd be weird, nobody would text you anymore.
Philadelphia instead of Philly?
Frederick instead of Fred? I know Fred wouldn't like it.
Abdominal muscles instead of abs.
What does RSVP even stand for?
Ante meridiem instead of a.m.?
I know I'm getting a little extreme here, but the point is: What's the big deal? A recent poll of San Franciscans revealed for whatever reason, it is a big deal.
Over 40 percent state they always say San Francisco. The only other nickname that got above 15 percent was "The City," which, when there's a bunch of other cities around the world, can be a bit confusing. San Fran, SF and Frisco (THE WORST THING EVER) were on the very low to never ever use end.
One man, Charles Fracchia, the San Francisco Historical Society President and co-founder of Rolling Stone Magazine, even sent out a press release about it all.
“It is vitally important to call the city ‘San Francisco’ over ‘San Fran,’” Fracchia said in a Bospar press release, insisting that “utilizing the full name of any person or place gives it dignity, and I believe ‘San Francisco’ deserves to be referred to in its full name.”
A local writer said he would "cut off his right arm before he let someone tattoo "San Fran" on it."
I texted one of my best friends, a guy who was born in San Francisco and still lives there today, to see what he would say if I referred to San Francisco as San Fran. It's been three hours and he still hasn't responded. He's probably deleted my number and is on a plane to New York to punch me in the face. Or maybe he'll send Madison Bumgarner to sort things out.
And listen, this isn't something against the city of San Francisco. I love it. I love the Bay Bridge, I love the food, the rolling hills, the people. Sometimes I just stare at pictures of John Stamos and play this song over and over.
But San Fran? C'mon, it's not THAT bad at all. It gets both parts of the word in there. I doubt Saint Francis of Assisi would mind at this point. Just give it some thought. Or yell at me on Twitter. Whatever.
Matt Monagan writes at night for Cut4. In his spare time, he travels and searches Twitter for Wily Mo Pena news.