10 of the best quotes from the first half of the 2018 season
Oscar Wilde is known for his witticisms. Winston Churchill is quoted for his bon mots. It turns out, we should be looking to baseball players for their quotable ways, too.
That's right: With the exact midway point of the season in the rearview mirror, let's look back at the very best quotes from baseball's first half.
"I ain't getting to this one boys," -
A man's got to know his limitations.
"I'm just a little kid! I was a little kid when I was a player. I feel like every time you take the field, you have a lifetime pass to be a little kid for as long as you want." - Nick Swisher on his Yankees' Old-Timers' Day dinger.
How can you not share in his enthusiasm for bashing homers?
"I tried to get fatter. I succeeded at that apparently. We did all the testing, and I am fatter." -
Baseball players: They're just like us!
"We were discussing the Canadian dollar and flawed systems in our two governments. He was coming from a different side of it, and we were just discussing those kinds of things." -
The Canadian dollar is called a "Loonie." That already makes it a great currency.
"Personally I'm a fan of the 'stache, but I guess it got sent down. It's been DFA'd" -
We'll forever miss it.
"Who the [expletive] is Tom Brady?" - Ichiro Suzuki on a certain quarterback.
"I was like, 'Go, baby, go!' ... And I was running around, and I was trying so hard not to smile. I was trying to breathe and not smile." -
Sometimes it's less what they say, than how they say it:
"So I run in our bathroom real quick, I'm ready to go. I'm trying to pee and I actually [expletive] my pants. Like right before I'm about to go in the game, I pooped my pants." -
Hey, sometimes nature calls.
"It's time to go long now." -
"I'm not a baby." - Buck Showalter on why he wouldn't use baby sunscreen.
I mean, he's not wrong.
made an inspirational poster for you pic.twitter.com/Fzefeusyo2— Gemma Kaneko (@GemmaKaneko) March 22, 2018