In light of Dee Gordon's surprising 80-game suspension for PED use, a bit of advice for the next player who finds himself in the same situation. This is what you should say when you get popped for performance-enhancers …
I'm guilty.
That's hard to admit to my family, my friends, my teammates and my fans. But it's the truth.
I could use this statement to say I did not "knowingly" ingest that substance -- whatever it's called -- that I tested positive for. I could defiantly tell you that I "will not rest" until I figure out how this stuff got in my body. But too many players have issued too many statements that ring hollow. Some fans are more offended by these after-the-fact excuses than they are by the act of cheating itself.
Ultimately, as a professional athlete paid handsomely for my services and fully knowledgeable about the league's rules regarding supplements and performance-enhancing drugs, I am responsible for what I put into my body. There are ample team and league resources available to me to verify ingredients and to ensure that everything I do is on the up and up and that I never be subjected to the public embarrassment of a failed test.
So yes, I'm guilty.
And while I am under no real obligation to tell you what I did, or when and why, I'm going let you know why this sort of thing still happens: The season is really long, and the extraordinary financial incentives associated with playing this game well are still capable of outweighing the incentives to play it clean, provided you can divorce yourself from your morals. That's why it's not just burly power hitters or high-velocity hurlers getting caught in the teeth of the testing system; it's little guys like Gordon, who are just trying to keep weight on and survive the rigors of the game with their stats intact.
The sheer number of dates in a 162-game schedule is one thing. But it's also the day games after night games, the night games on getaway days, the travel demands, the media responsibilities, the exhaustive batting-practice routine several hours before first pitch. All of these things add up. And perhaps my suspension, coming as it does on the heels of the 80-game bans handed to Gordon and Chris Colabello, will help further discussion in advance of the next collective bargaining agreement about the schedule itself or the size of active rosters so that players can have more rest built into the season schedule.
And of course, there's the money. Look at Jhonny Peralta's contract. Or Melky Cabrera's contract. Look at the way Bartolo Colon is celebrated. Consider that Gordon will still collect more than $48 million from the Marlins after he's done serving his suspension. Teams aren't shying away from players with a PED past, and long-term contracts aren't voided when players get caught.
I don't know that there's necessarily an easy solution to these issues. Sure, there are bad contracts that teams would love to get out from under if the player gets caught, and the punishment would seem to fit the crime. But there are also team-friendly deals given to players whose use is not necessarily the sole determining factor in their success, and such a clause might actually give them incentive to cheat (and cash in on a potentially larger deal in the open market) while also punishing the club that signed them in the first place. A PED program shouldn't come equipped with built-in incentives to cheat.
Maybe the money in a contract should be voided, but not the years, and players caught violating the PED policy must serve their suspensions and then play for the Major League minimum for the length of their deal.
Maybe, with regard to supplements, the Major League Baseball Players Association could serve as a sort of clearinghouse charged with acquiring and distributing all vitamins and supplements, so that players can feel comfortable knowing whatever they ingest has been approved and abides by the league stipulations.
And maybe we should just forget the fear of false positives and go with a "one strike and you're out" policy, after all. Any player caught with PEDs in his system would have the opportunity to go before an impartial arbitrator to determine if there is any reason to believe he is unjustly accused.
If not, good night and good luck.
This issue is a layered and complex one, and my actions demonstrate that I am far more invested in my own interests than those of the league. I'm just glad I decided to come clean, rather than run and hide behind a public statement or a one-on-one with a trusted reporter. The bottom line is that the schedule and the money compelled me to do something I'm not proud of. To all my supporters, I just want to say I'm very sorry … that I got caught.
Feel free to copy and paste. It may feel like cheating. But you're already accustomed to that feeling, anyway.
Anthony Castrovince