TORONTO -- Edwin Jackson hasn’t been through a rough patch like the one that has marred the beginning of his tenure with the Blue Jays in what he thinks are probably six or seven years.
On Thursday, Toronto had a chance at its first series sweep since the end of April, and against the American League East leaders, no less. But for the fifth time this season, the 17-year big league veteran exited the game without leaving his team in a position to win, and the Blue Jays eventually fell, 6-2, to the Yankees at Rogers Centre.
“The only thing you can do is continue to pitch,” Jackson said. “I’ve had numerous opportunities to continue to be able to take the ball and go out and get the job done, and flat out, I just haven’t been able to get it done. I’ve never been one to make excuses. I’ve always been one to man up and tell it how it is, and that’s how it is -- right now, I’m not getting the job done.”
Toronto’s offense couldn’t muster much against former Blue Jays left-hander J.A. Happ -- a solo homer from Eric Sogard in the sixth inning the exception -- and the contrast between the starters was vast. Jackson recorded 10 outs, allowing six runs (two earned) on six hits with two walks and three strikeouts, lowering his ERA to 11.90.
“This game we love can be harsh,” the 35-year-old right-hander said on Wednesday. “Obviously, it’s a game of failure and it’s hard not to get emotionally attached to it, but I feel like if you get too emotionally attached, it will eat you alive. I’ve seen it happen, and I’m still here by practicing what I preach. I’ve dealt with it. I’ve dealt with a lot of stuff in this game that would probably make a lot of other people quit.”
But Jackson hasn’t quit. Since the time he made his Major League debut on his 20th birthday, the righty has played parts of 17 seasons in the Majors, wearing the uniforms of a record-setting 14 different organizations. Over that time, he’s been through countless ups and downs and is confident that he has the mentality to get him through anything on the field.
“I’ve had enough bad days in this game to learn from it, and at the end of the day you have to believe,” Jackson said. “If you don’t believe that things will change, they won’t. On your worst day, if you don’t believe that things will get better, they won’t. You have to keep believing and telling yourself, and it’s hard to do.
“Don’t get me wrong, that is very hard to do. It’s hard to keep believing when you keep going out and having results that don’t relate to how you think and how you feel, but only the strong survive. I know it’s so cliché, but it’s true. The strength starts mentally, because we’re all in physical shape to be able to go do what we have to do, but we have to be so much stronger mentally in this game to continue to survive.”
In his first four starts for the Blue Jays, the veteran hurler allowed 26 runs (24 earned) on 30 hits over 16 1/3 innings. Before Thursday’s outing against the Yankees, the last time Jackson had been on a big league mound was against the Rockies on Friday, when he gave up a career-high-tying 10 runs over 2 1/3 frames.
“Even in the worst outings you have, there’s something positive you can take from it,” he said. “Every outing is a learning experience, regardless of how old you are. If you have a negative outing, you have to take the positives from it, even if it’s just a tiny bit of information that’s the positive, and the rest of it, you just let it go.”
“It’s tough for him, obviously it’s probably one of his rougher stretches he’s gone through,” Sogard said. “But he’s very strong mentally, he has been around the game for a long time, so he’ll find a way to be able to get the job done. I know some of his pitches aren’t moving the way he wants them to, [but] he’s one of the hardest-working guys I know and [will] continue to work at it.”
With an off-day for the Blue Jays coming on Monday, manager Charlie Montoyo suggested that the team might have room to shuffle the rotation, but noted that more discussions would be had among Toronto’s brass before any changes would be made.
“Things will come around,” Jackson said. “The most frustrating part is when you’re so close to getting over the hump and you can’t get over it. The story’s been too repetitive. I’ve had numerous, numerous opportunities to come around and get the job done, and I’m not finding a way to make pitches in big situations when I have the chance.”