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Live Blog: Reds-Phillies Finish in 11 Minutes

5:29 - Looking for the channel that the game is on. Excited to see some Reds baseball! Kind of have to pee, but I’ll wait. Can’t miss a pitch!

5:30 - Found the channel!

5:32 - Zack “Chompers” Cozart gets a hit! Hoping he makes a big step in his offensive game. I had a big coffee right before the game, and I’m really feeling it now. I have a lot of ideas to improve my life...I’m also wondering if I can make it to the b-room and back between batters...nah, I dug this ditch now and I gotta sit in it.

5:35 - Joey Votto fouling off a few balls, working the count. He does that so well. I don’t care what his avg. is or if he’s hitting enough HRs, the guy gets on base and that is so valuable. MAN, my back teeth are floating, yep gotta pee big time now...alright, boys, lets get a walk off. NO MORE WALKS AAAAAHHHHHH!

5:38 - Just paid my phone bill. Thinking of changing up my text plan. Whoa, another walk! Phillips this time!

5:40 - Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee. OH, BOY, THATS A HIT FOR JAY BRUCE. GAME OVER! NOW I’M RUNNING TO THE B-ROOM AND I’M OPENING THE DOOR AND...

5:45 - Game Over. What a great game. I had to pee for the entire game, which kind of hampered my experience but, hey, a win’s a win. Go Reds!