Everybody dies. But if you haven't seen yourself represented on a bobblehead sponsored by a funeral home and given away to 2,000 people on a morbid Minor League theme night, have you even lived?
It's a question Michael Coffin -- note that last name -- won't ever have to answer. Coffin, the play-by-play broadcaster of the Corpus Christi Hooks, is being handed out in talking bobblehead form courtesy of a partnership with Seaside Memorial Park & Funeral Home on the club's Día de los Hooks Night on Saturday.
The Astros' Double-A affiliate's Copa de la Diversión entry, Día de los Hooks is a nod to Día de los Muertos -- the day of the dead. While going through the process of planning this year's promos, the team's front office came up with the idea of coupling a Día de los Hooks game with a bobblehead featuring the broadcaster with the sepulchral surname.
“It’s not something I had on my baseball bingo card," admitted Coffin, the Hooks' director of media relations and broadcasting. "But when they asked me about it at the start of the year, of course it was a yes. I was blown away. Plus, they shaved off at least 10 pounds. I look great!"
And although undertakers are not generally known for being quick with a joke, getting Seaside Memorial onboard with sponsoring the giveaway was an easy sell.
“It’s perfect," Coffin said. "Somebody pitched to them, ‘We have a Coffin on our staff.’ And they were into it. I have to remember to send them a Christmas card, because this is just really, really cool.”
A Texas League legend in the making who's worked for Corpus Christi since 2007, Coffin took inspiration from a talking Milo Hamilton bottle opener he had as a kid and recreated one of his favorite home run calls for the bobblehead's voice: "It’s going down the line. If it’s fair, it’s gone! The Hooks win!"
Of course, the announcement of Día de los Hooks was not the first time Coffin had considered that his name carries a dark connotation.
"I do remember [during childhood] thinking about it like, ‘That’s a weird name to have,’" he said. "It goes back to when names came from the jobs people had. So, if you were Armstrong, you carried stuff around for other people, and if you’re a Smith, [an ancestor was] a blacksmith. So, at some point, somebody in the family was making coffins."
Does that mean the broadcaster is up for taking on some additional work for Seaside Memorial?
“There’s only one thing I know how to do, and it ain’t woodworking,” he said.
It's calling baseball games. But Coffin is struggling to find the words to express just how honored he feels to have been given the bobblehead treatment.
"It’s been really cool to hear from everybody who’s reached out and texted and called," he said. "I’ve worked with a lot of folks, and it’s been wonderful to hear from them.
“It’s not something I can describe.”
Incidentally, Coffin is not the only Minor League broadcaster you can find in talking bobblehead form this month. On Friday, Aug. 21, the Double-A affiliate of the Red Sox is giving away one featuring Portland Sea Dogs broadcaster Emma Tiedemann for Women in Sports Night.