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2012 MLB Season Predictions: Ricky Mast

American League

East: Tampa Bay Rays: Young pitching, powerful young lineup and their manager has awesome hair—the three pillars of every successful franchise.

Central: Detroit Tigers: The Tigers easily take the AL Central crown as Cabrera and Fielder will be the most feared power duo since Hall and Oates.

West: Texas Rangers: The Rangers win because Nolan Ryan says so. The end.

Wild Card 1: New York Yankees: The Yanks’ rotation will be much improved, plus I live in New York City now and I really like the pizza. That might not have anything to do with the Yankees, but I don’t want to say anything that will result in the city banning me from eating its pizza.

Wild Card 2: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: Reenergized by the free agent signings of Albert Pujols and C.J. Wilson, the Angels will field one of their best teams since they were managed by Danny Glover.

Pennant: Tampa Bay Rays: The Rays will beat the Tigers in the ALCS on the back of their rotation and then they will wear funny clothes. I really like it when people wear funny clothes.

MVP: Jose Bautista: I am mainly picking Joey Bats because he is on my fantasy team and I want to be able to talk about him in my Tim Kurkjian voice as often as possible.

Cy Young: Justin Verlander: The guy is simply dirt nasty and is also a fellow Virginian, which instantly elevates his level of awesomeness.

Rookie of the Year: Matt Moore: I picked Moore because he delivers fireballs with seemingly little effort, but also because I can’t pronounce “Yoenis Cespedes.”

National LeagueEast: Atlanta Braves: The dark reign of the Phillies comes to an end this year and the NL East crown will return to its natural habitat at Turner Field.

Central: Pittsburgh Pirates: The waters will part, pigs shall fly and the Pirates will win the NL Central. You heard it here first.

West: Arizona Diamondbacks: Unlike their manager, the D-Backs will keep on running without tripping and falling. They repeat as NL West champs in 2012.

Wild Card 1: Philadelphia Phillies: The window for another World Championship in Philly is closing, but the Big 3 of Halladay, Lee and Hamels will be enough to get the Phillies back to the Postseason.

Wild Card 2: St. Louis Cardinals: Cards, you ripped my heart right out of my chest on the last day of the season last year and yet I still put you back in the postseason this year. You owe me.

Pennant: Atlanta Braves: Because the world will be a much better place if this happens.

MVP: Justin Upton: He will build upon his MVP-caliber 2011 season and will lead the Diamondbacks to another NL West title. Plus he’s also a Virginian. Boom!

Cy Young: Clayton Kershaw: Yes, I have picked repeat Cy Young winners for both the AL and the NL. What a risk taker I am!

Rookie of the Year: Randall Delgado: I am a Braves fan so perhaps this is a homer pick, but I love this kid’s ability and think that he will be an important part of the Braves rotation in 2012. Did I mention he’s a Brave?

American League

East: Tampa Bay Rays: Young pitching, powerful young lineup and their manager has awesome hair—the three pillars of every successful franchise.

Central: Detroit Tigers: The Tigers easily take the AL Central crown as Cabrera and Fielder will be the most feared power duo since Hall and Oates.

West: Texas Rangers: The Rangers win because Nolan Ryan says so. The end.

Wild Card 1: New York Yankees: The Yanks’ rotation will be much improved, plus I live in New York City now and I really like the pizza. That might not have anything to do with the Yankees, but I don’t want to say anything that will result in the city banning me from eating its pizza.

Wild Card 2: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: Reenergized by the free agent signings of Albert Pujols and C.J. Wilson, the Angels will field one of their best teams since they were managed by Danny Glover.

Pennant: Tampa Bay Rays: The Rays will beat the Tigers in the ALCS on the back of their rotation and then they will wear funny clothes. I really like it when people wear funny clothes.

MVP: Jose Bautista: I am mainly picking Joey Bats because he is on my fantasy team and I want to be able to talk about him in my Tim Kurkjian voice as often as possible.

Cy Young: Justin Verlander: The guy is simply dirt nasty and is also a fellow Virginian, which instantly elevates his level of awesomeness.

Rookie of the Year: Matt Moore: I picked Moore because he delivers fireballs with seemingly little effort, but also because I can’t pronounce “Yoenis Cespedes.”

National LeagueEast: Atlanta Braves: The dark reign of the Phillies comes to an end this year and the NL East crown will return to its natural habitat at Turner Field.

Central: Pittsburgh Pirates: The waters will part, pigs shall fly and the Pirates will win the NL Central. You heard it here first.

West: Arizona Diamondbacks: Unlike their manager, the D-Backs will keep on running without tripping and falling. They repeat as NL West champs in 2012.

Wild Card 1: Philadelphia Phillies: The window for another World Championship in Philly is closing, but the Big 3 of Halladay, Lee and Hamels will be enough to get the Phillies back to the Postseason.

Wild Card 2: St. Louis Cardinals: Cards, you ripped my heart right out of my chest on the last day of the season last year and yet I still put you back in the postseason this year. You owe me.

Pennant: Atlanta Braves: Because the world will be a much better place if this happens.

MVP: Justin Upton: He will build upon his MVP-caliber 2011 season and will lead the Diamondbacks to another NL West title. Plus he’s also a Virginian. Boom!

Cy Young: Clayton Kershaw: Yes, I have picked repeat Cy Young winners for both the AL and the NL. What a risk taker I am!

Rookie of the Year: Randall Delgado: I am a Braves fan so perhaps this is a homer pick, but I love this kid’s ability and think that he will be an important part of the Braves rotation in 2012. Did I mention he’s a Brave?