Bill Walton's greatest hits calling Sox-Halos

August 17th, 2019

Of all the interesting, entertaining and often mind-boggling comments made by Bill Walton as guest analyst on the White Sox broadcast during their 7-2 victory over the Angels Friday, this following one might have intrigued Chicago fans the most.

“White Sox on their way to winning another championship,” Walton said. “Who's going to stop them?”

Well, for starters, Friday’s win put the White Sox at 55-66 and still a long, long way behind the Twins and Indians in the American League Central and AL Wild Card races. Then again, Walton has a more cosmic view of the world than most, and might have been speaking of a vision he had for a future title on the South Side.

“Where does this team rank in the pantheon of greatest teams in the history of the sport?” Walton later added.

Here’s a look at a few of Walton’s standout lines from his first foray into baseball broadcasting with the great White Sox television play-by-play voice, Jason Benetti.

“Fortunately for all of us, the White Sox have provided me my own translator.”

Walton from the broadcast’s pregame show, during which he talked with Ozzie Guillen, the White Sox manager during the 2005 World Series championship. It’s not often Guillen is the low-key persona in the conversation. Walton made reference a numbers of times to Billy Russo, the official White Sox interpreter.

"Today is National Roller Coaster Day. It’s National Airborne Day. Try to keep me anchored to the planet.”

“You don’t have to start with, 'Let me ask you.' You are going to ask me anyway.”

Walton humorously admonishing Benetti early in the broadcast.

“[Mike] Trout? He’s good. Did you have the salmon for dinner?”

One of Walton’s many references to Trout, quite possibly the greatest player in the game.

“Why doesn’t he bat all the time?”

Walton asking why Trout doesn’t get to hit more than once through the order.

"That’s Trout? Swimming upstream, avoiding all the flies, and sending one ricocheting through the universe."

Walton getting philosophical after Trout homered.

“How about a triple play? Carry it over.”

Walton’s carryover idea might be something to consider.

“I would not be a good catcher. I’m much better at getting high than getting low.”

Yes, we might have the night’s winner right here.

“How many innings do they play? Is there a mercy rule if some team gets ahead by 30 runs?”

More game changes proposed by Walton.

“Chico Ruiz would have scored from third on that play.”

Ruiz probably didn’t get this much airtime in total during his big league career.

“The White Sox extend this insurmountable lead.”

It was a 2-0 lead at the time.

We now pause for Walton comparing Welington Castillo’s speed to Usain Bolt, and also suggesting Albert Pujols would steal third when perched on second.

“If you are ever feeling down about life, just put on John Fogerty.”

Staying true to his California roots.

“What a fantastic turn of events if you love the White Sox, and I’m falling in love by the breath.”

Walton called for James McCann’s grand slam in the eighth before it happened, and then celebrated McCann’s second grand slam in the past three games.

“He’s not a Bummer. He’s a meteor. He’s an asteroid soaring through the universe.”

The left-hander’s last name was an easy mark for Walton.

“The White Sox win. Print the banner. Line up the parade.”

OK, still a bit too soon for that.

“I apologize on behalf of the human race for destroying your broadcast, and I hope I don’t ruin your career, which I think I already let that bus go by.”

Walton’s response to Benetti thanking him for being part of the broadcast.

“I’m Bill. This is … .”

Walton had perfect recall of intricate facts about family members of his friends. Somehow he couldn’t remember Benetti’s first name.

Kudos to Benetti for letting Walton follow through with his exceptional commentary, while keeping the focus on a third win in four games for the White Sox. Put him in coach, Bill was ready to play.