NEW YORK -- For Red Sox right-hander Sonny Gray, there was no hiding the swirl of emotions he was processing in the clubhouse moments after Boston’s season ended with a 9-2 loss to the Yankees in Game 2 of the American League Wild Card Series on Wednesday night.
The 36-year-old veteran, who had one of the best seasons of his career, is a free agent heading into the offseason. He has also dropped hints in recent weeks he is at least contemplating retirement.
So the first thing Gray did when he got into the clubhouse was go to the locker of every single teammate with a hug and words of encouragement.
Aside from the finality of his 14th season, Gray was dealing with the frustration of a hook he felt was a little quick from manager Chad Tracy.
With two on and two outs in the fifth inning, Gray had done well to keep Boston’s heavily struggling offense in the game with a 1-0 deficit.
Gray expected to get a chance to pitch to Cody Bellinger. That chance was taken away when Tracy went to lefty Erik Miller, who was greeted with a run-scoring hit for the second straight night, this one an RBI single.
While the third time through the order has become a time for many managers to remove starters in this era, particularly in the postseason, Gray led qualified AL pitchers by holding hitters to a .180 average the third time through. And that didn’t escape a man who is as studious about his craft as anyone in the game.
“I think I'm the best pitcher in the American League going through the order the third time. I think that's a fact,” said Gray. “I would have liked to live or die with me in that moment, but that's the competitor I am, and yeah, I think you can probably ask the guys, and they felt the same way. So I felt strong, I felt confident, I felt convicted.”
Why did Tracy lift his two best starters on back-to-back nights with two outs in the fifth down by just a run?
“Just the same thing, we're trailing. We're struggling to score runs,” said Tracy. “And when you get in spots where you’re struggling to score runs and you're already trailing, you feel like you've got to be aggressive and go.”
It was hard for Gray to accept because he felt in complete control.
“I'm frustrated for sure. Not ready for it to end,” Gray said. “A lot of emotions, yeah, but frustration is definitely one.”
As for what is to come in the weeks ahead, Gray was thoughtful, but non-committal. His two sons are constantly in the clubhouse with him, and it isn’t hard to see the pull of home is starting to tug on him.
“I do know that in moments like this, it's never beneficial for any party involved to make rash decisions,” said Gray. “When you're a train going down the tracks, and it just gets stopped immediately, I know step No. 1 is to not make any rash decisions. I just try to take it one thing at a time for now. And No. 1 would be getting my bags packed, getting in the shower, getting some food, getting back to the hotel, seeing my family, and getting back to Boston, and then we'll go from there.”
Last November, Gray waived his no-trade clause and accepted a deal from the Cardinals to the Red Sox. If Gray does decide to keep pitching, is Boston a destination he’d want to return to?
“I don't know,” said Gray, who might prefer to pitch closer to his Tennessee home.
But he’s also pitching as well as he ever has. Does that make the decision harder?
“Fair question,” said Gray. “I don't know. I don't know what the future holds for me. I do know that I walked off of that mound with my chest back and my chin up, and I can definitely be proud that I left it all out there until the ball was taken out of my hand.”
On elimination night, Red Sox lefty Garrett Crochet felt for his veteran teammate.
“He's posted for us all year long. Did it again tonight,” said Crochet. “Wish that we could have given him a better showing, given him one more chance, because he deserved it.”
The plan in 2026 was for Crochet to be Boston’s ace and for Gray to be the No. 2 man. When Crochet lost most of his season to a left shoulder injury, Gray ably stepped in as the ace.
“Whatever Sonny and his family decide, it was a joy to watch this year,” said Crochet. “I still think he's got a lot to give the game, but there's something to be said about going out on your own terms, I suppose. Whatever he ultimately decides, that'll be something that, as a team, we will support him on. But it was a pleasure having him here in Boston.”
Does Gray usually hug every teammate after a season-ending loss?
“I live in the moment, man. It's not a planned thing,” Gray said. “I don't know. It just felt right at the time.”