What 'gifts' former Braves would give each other

December 23rd, 2019

ATLANTA -- Asked what gift he would give to a former teammate during this holiday season, said he would give a Silver Slugger Award because he always thought he was the best hitting pitcher.

Informed of Glavine’s offering, Smoltz replied, “Well, I guess he forgot I already have one, so that will make two. Maybe I should get him a DVD of me accepting the award.”

Glavine and Smoltz were just a couple of the former Braves who had fun at each other’s expense when asked what gift they would get for one of their old teammates. At the same time, there were some sincere offerings like the one expressed by , who wished good health to Bobby Cox, the beloved Hall of Fame manager who suffered a stroke in April.

But for the most part, the former Braves had some laughs and stirred fun memories when asked to contribute to the story.

Appearance and physical traits weren’t considered out of bounds, as said he would get a “booster chair or a footstool.”

would do his part to assist the vertically challenged by giving a life-sized hamster wheel.

said he’d get a normal-sized ear for because “he has that one small ear” and a cleaning crew for ’s locker. Not surprisingly, McCann received more jabs than any other player during this exercise.

also offered “a maid for BMac’s locker.” David Ross said he would give McCann private plane hours so that he could come visit him in Chicago. The recently named Cubs manager added, “I need more BMac in my life.”

O’Flaherty kept it simple by saying he would just get hair for the bald catcher, who retired after the 2019 season.

Former catcher echoed Pendleton’s sentiments when he offered good health to both Cox and former Braves bench coach Pat Corrales. But he added he would also get an MVP trophy for to stop the former outfielder from complaining about not winning the 1999 National League Championship Series MVP Award that was presented to Pérez.

Jordan laughed at Pérez’s offering and said, “Because always smiled when he struck out, I would get him the 'Angry Birds' game. Get mad one time, Andruw.”

Given a chance to have his own fun, Andruw Jones diversified his offerings by proposing gifts for Pérez, Smoltz and .

The 10-time Gold Glove Award-winning outfielder would get a season pass to a haunted house for the always-jumpy Pérez. He would give Smoltz membership to the Hair Club, and he would bestow a year’s supply of toilet paper to Maddux.

Like McCann, Maddux was a popular benefactor of his former teammates’ imaginary generosity. Smoltz said he would get the fellow Hall of Famer something to get rid of the yips in golf and an exercise bike.

was also thinking about golf when he said he would get enrollment to the Dave Pelz 3-Day Scoring Game School to help the former first baseman with his short game.

As for , he would gift Chipper Jones with “normal length” golf shorts and something to replace his tube socks.

The Hall of Fame third baseman said he’d get a four-wheeler, which essentially could be considered a gift that prevents him from having to keep on giving.